You might be the parent of a newborn if...
- the cat spends more time on your side of the bed at night than you do.
- you can now do with one hand everything that you used to do with two.
- you don't realize that you're carrying on a running commentary of your shopping trip until you notice people in the store looking at you funny.
- you can successfully put together a bottle in 30 seconds or less, in the dark.
- you've spent time online looking at pictures of baby poo and comparing them to your own kid's to see if he's normal.
- you've put a lot of thought into finding all the words that rhyme with your baby's name, so that you can make the long, soothing singsongs even longer.
- you've pondered color-coordinating diaper covers and onesies.
- one bicep & forearm has grown significantly larger than the other.
- you sometimes find yourself rocking back and forth, even when you're not holding the baby.
- you know not only which baby clothes hide the spit up well, but also which of your clothes hide it.
- anything lasting three minutes or more is now a long shower.
- you've stopped calling your spouse by his/her name or nickname and now exclusively refer to him/her as Daddy or Mommy.
- most of the food you eat can be prepared in 5 minutes or less & can't be very hot or very cold in case it gets on baby accidentally.
- you've developed an almost permanent whisper to avoid waking baby, even when he's not asleep.
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